Never post when drunk! (Read post before thsi one... 2:35am)

But you all still love me, right.........

RIGHT?!?

Oh boy. The pastor is just gonna LOVE this one (+ the one before)

But yes, kidnapping a baby is still a viable option for motherhood should marry after i've expired (which i will).

Vote Tiger Army in

>http://eventful.com/competitions/energizer_encore_2007<

or below www.tigerarmy.com :

for every one of the listed cities, that's only if you like them though (duh). If you like AFI you'll either know of Tiger Army (them and AFI been best mates for years) or you'd probably like them.

... ....
...
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i feel an emo-cide coming on...
1 I wish my grass were emo, then it would cut itself
2 Emo is good for the environment, after all, there's been low rainful lately, all those tears are sure to make a difference
3 Emo has invaded Australia... time's run out to buy a waterproof/stainproof wardrobe, they're ALREADY crying all over innocent people Australia-wide
4 My cat's reverse-Emo, he wants to cut ME, and then he cries at the door to be let out, or at the cat bowl to be fed, but it's all attention seeking because when i give him what he wants he runs off and carries on with normal cat habits before the next episode hits, and then... it happens all over again
5 Thank god kitchen appliances haven't caught on to the wave of Emo culture sweeping the world, can you imagine one evening the Oven commits suicide 10 minutes short of dinner? Or the microwave? The SINK? I think the news should focus more on that than a bunch of hopeless Emo kids crying/cutting/smoking/drinking themselves to death
6 Emo-mammogram = cut 'em off, scan 'em, stitch 'em back on using those Gothic-stitches you used to sew your Emo-mouth shut in a public statement about your joyless life. Just be careful with that needle, that's belong to the nurse, it's not yours.
7 Emo-boogie = sob so hard you shake it like the dancing-queen you know ruined your life by stealing the boyfriend you would've had if she hadn't seduced him with her "girly"-"charms" (you even gave him the EYES, you LOOKED at him, EYE CONTACT)
8 Emo-cide = Kurt Cobain (get everybody's attention and then... and then... DIE!)
9 Don't cry, you haven't even told everybody about you're joyless life or done the Emo/pixie ritual dance or blogged about your life and it's likely sad end, don't cry little Emo, not yet anyway
10 So does Emo make violence an acceptable social medium then? Do i sound like a middle-aged crappy social commentator yet? Do any Emo's out there want my address to send me your tears, blood, knife's and most horrid, anthrax (or other disease's you might carry)?
.
.

some days i doubt my sanity other days i'm sure of it - i've really lost it.

SO who else thought the reviews of Pirates of the Carribean were stupid? It was GREAT! You just had to like the movie and the whole series in general... that's all! *rolls-eyes*

S-s-s-so.... what do i post now? I never have idea's! ... I thinka sumthin'!

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www.elderscrolls.com
www.elricm.com

DO IT!

___________________________

Ladies and gentlemen, what you've been waiting for... something intelligent!

best song to download "hard to concentrate" by Red Hot Chilli Peppers... it's kinda love song without the cheesie factor... you know, i was never a big fan of cheesie's, and this definitely is at least a good listen, very well written in terms of guitar.

will i ever fall in love?
HA! AHHHH hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! that's watcha get for 2:35 am!

but no, i've decided i t would take him CHASING me and catching me before i become unconcious to merely CONSIDER falling in love... why bother? i've got so much ahead of me... to do all by myself... within my own strengths.... with no children to pass anyhting onto in the meanwhile. No this is actually 'serious', it's not a delusional case of a belief in romance (a mere thin slice of "romance").

I can share it wiht go right? That should be enough, and there's plenty of kids in the world... i just have to kid nap a few, right Sam?

Too lost in you - Sugababes ++if you're looking for a love song, this is your best bet, it's deep dark and romantic, like dark wine mixed with your true loves blood**

please pray for me, someone in the family just died, and i need to know where god wants to take me...

sry, no interesting post like the last one, btw you should read it, it SHOULD mean something to you.... make sure that is DOES mean ALOT to you. :-S

I found the loveliest pieces of writing on:

_______^_______

+-<www.christiangoth.com>-+

__If you want to read it for yourself__here's how to find each page in it's original form__
1 enter in addressbar: http:// www . christiangoth . com /
2 Scroll down to each title and click

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TITLE: *'~(Who You Are)~'*
"understanding your identity in Christ is absolutely essential to your success at living the victorious Christian life." Copy this page & read it everyday if you have to.


I am accepted...

I am God's child ~ John1:12
As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ ~ John15:15
I have been justified ~ Rom5:1
I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit ~ 1Corin6:17
I have been bought with a price, & I belong to God ~ 1Corin6:19-20
I am a member of Christ's body ~ 1Corin12:27
I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child ~ Eph1:3-8
I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins ~ Colos1:13-14
I am complete in Christ ~ Colos2:9-10
I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ ~ Heb4:14-16


I am secure...

I am free from condemnation ~ Rom8:1-2
I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances ~ Rom8:28
I am free from any condemnation brought against me, and I cannot be separated from the love of God ~ Rom8:31-39
I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God ~ 2Corin1:21-22
I am hidden with Christ in God ~ Colos3:1-4
I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me ~ Phil1:6
I am a citizen of Heaven ~ Phil3:20
I have not been given the spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind ~ 2Tim1:7
I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me ~ 1John5:18


I am significant...

I am the branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life ~ John15:5
I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit ~ John15:16
I am God's temple ~ 1Corin3:16
I am a minister of reconciliation for God ~ 2Corin5:17-21
I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm ~ Eph2:6
I am God's workmanship ~ Eph2:10
I may approach God with freedom and confidence ~ Eph3:12
I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me ~ Phil4:13


THE MORE YOU REAFFIRM HU U R IN CHRIST, the more ur behaviour will begin 2 reflect ur true I.D.! Info from book: Victory Over the Darkness: Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ by Neil T. Anderson

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TITLE: *'~(PURITY)~'*
I didn't actually like much on this page, so i'm only putting a sampling of the content the actual page contained.

The plan was nicely formatted to make it easy to remember:
^P_lan my dates and outings so that i will not put myself in compromising situation
*U_nderstand that true love really does waits
^R_ead God's word and seek Him daily for wisdom and strength
* I_nform my family and friends about my commitment so i can be held accountable
^T_rust in the Lord for His strength in my time of weakness
*Y_eild to the Lord's instructions, trusting that His love and plan for my life is truly the best

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TITLE: *'~(Modesty Honours Beauty)~'*
First, let’s get this straight: Modesty is not just putting on more clothes.

Modesty is honoring God by acknowledging the value He placed on your body when He created you. If it were just about clothes, then Adam and Eve would have been created wearing something more than skin. Modesty isn’t about your closet, it’s about having a heart bold enough to throw aside that which society tells us, and hold on to that which God tells us: That we are a beautiful creation wrapped in the wonder and glory of the perfect artist.

Today’s world of advertising will never tell you that. Girls, you will never hear an advertisement tell you how beautiful you already are. Instead, it will tell you how beautiful you will become if you do this or buy that. And, even more disappointing, that end result of “beauty” will have nothing to do with your true self; it will have everything to do with the exploitation of your sexuality. Guys, you will rarely see an advertisement that encourages you to be a respectable man who spends his whole life loving one woman, but you will see plenty that tell you success is measured in how many scantily clad females your deodorant can attract.

Are we really so surface? Is there not more to us than an insatiable sex drive?

In today’s media--commercials, music videos, movies, and television programs--the bottom line is that sex sells. Always. Why? Because, at some point, we actually started to believe that sex was a measure of success. Women think they have to be sexy, meaning constantly willing to have sex, just to be beautiful. And men think that they have to have sex, a lot of sex, to be worth something. And when you take those two ideas, and throw them into fashion and pop culture, you inevitably come up with styles and trends that depend upon the targeting of our sexuality. That which God created for mystery becomes a commodity, and something glorious becomes commonplace.

This is where modesty comes in. Modesty is the decision to reclaim our bodies and tell this society that we do not need to sell ourselves to one another just to feel worthy. Modesty is a girl’s decision to encourage a guy in purity by accentuating her love for Christ, not the curve of her hip. Modesty is a guy’s decision to prove himself a man by running after God, not by making himself physically available to every girl. Modesty is choosing to let your beauty speak of Love, not lust.

Choosing to be modest is not sentencing yourself to a life of baggy clothes and long dresses. That’s not what this is about. Modesty, quite simply, is daring to live a life submitted to God. It is choosing to live outside of the norm.

Are you daring enough to be modest?

Sarah Howell - sarah@standtrue.com

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TITLE: Letter From A Pagan
An Open Letter to Pastors from a Pagan

I Have A Question To Ask You

Please allow this letter to speak to your heart. This letter was not written in anger. This letter was Annie's experience as she searched for Jesus Christ. Posting this letter is not intended to harm any one in any way. The purpose for posting this letter is to give insight into someone else's experience...and an opportunity for you to care.

Dear Pastors,

I am a Witch. I know that many of you think that I believe what I do because of a rebellious nature, but in reality, I follow this path because I have found something real. I have committed years to developing a spirituality that I can base my life on. However, I am beginning to realize that although it is real, it is not always fulfilling.

So, I have begun asking some tough questions, and I am giving this God of yours a second look. I have heard some amazing things about Him, and I have to wonder if they are true.
In search of answers, I have visited your churches. I have to admit that I am puzzled by what I have found there. I have sat in the pews hoping to gain knowledge, and instead I have walked away with only more questions.

In the first church I visited, I was met with shock and horror when you realized I am a Witch. Yes, I serve other entities, but what you failed to see was the fact that I was looking for your God. I did not come to your place of worship to disturb you. I came because, though you may not have been able to tell, I myself am disturbed. I have taken a great risk in entering your church, and I did not make that choice casually.

I’ve heard you teach that your God will accept anyone, but you yourselves looked on me with disdain. You told me that you could not speak with me because light is to have no fellowship with darkness. But unless I see this light, how would I ever be able to leave the darkness? If you cannot show it to me, then who will?

So I continued my search, in hope of finding those answers I crave. I was relieved to find a church that did not stare in horror when I entered. Your service was lovely, and I thought I had finally found a place where my questions could be voiced. Afterwards I listened as you spoke to your congregation of the building project and the goals that you have. You talked of donating your time to God’s work, but when I approached you later and asked if we could talk, you said that you had urgent plans elsewhere. As I watched you walk away, I heard you mention to a friend that you were in a hurry to leave for vacation.

I am impressed with your commitment to build a place of beauty for the worship of your God. But who will fill that building? The potluck dinners you mentioned are certain to draw a crowd, but what about those of us who are hungry for something more? I won’t be there, because your vacation was more important than taking the time to have a short conversation. My next church experience was a bit different than the first two. I was able to slip into my seat unnoticed. Your sermon was about the fires of hell, and how all of those who God cannot accept will meet that horrific fate. Many others were moved to action by pure fear, but I felt nothing.

Your passion was obvious, but I found nothing helpful in the words you spoke. I believe there are consequences for our actions, but you have to realize that the threat of hell does not affect me as it does others. I live a hell on earth every day of my life. Even if that were not the case, I refuse to be forced into such an important decision by fear. So amid the terrified prayers of other seekers, I slipped out the door.

Eventually I found a church that seemed open and friendly. It was a little place, and I was immediately greeted with warm handshakes and several people introduced themselves. You knew what I was, and you were still kind. Quite honestly, I don’t remember what your sermon was about because I was still shocked due to the welcome I had received. So I came back the next Sunday, and again everyone was friendly. Each person I talked to was more friendly than the last, and a few gave me their phone numbers urging me to call if I ever needed anything.

Later in that week, the pain of my situation began playing it’s cruel games. I was desperate for some peace, but I didn’t know where to turn. So I picked up one of those phone numbers I had been given and made the call. I introduced myself, and was puzzled when the church member on the other end of the line seemed distant and detached. I plowed forward, hoping to connect with a fellow human being, but it was obvious the other person was disinterested in the conversation.

The situation repeated itself during two more phone calls, and it became apparent what was taking place. Your church people were more than willing to act concerned when there were others watching. It had been a contest of who could seem most Godly. But when the rubber met the road, and no one else was around to see, their true nature showed through. Helping the poor Pagan had become a sort of power struggle, a way to show who was the most pious. I am offended by this lack of respect and consideration.

So I have gone back to those entities that I serve, and they answered my call. It is a world where I know the rules, and they don’t change from day to day. They offer power and knowledge, but there is no offer of love. I possess strength and power and all the material possessions I could ever want; yet I have to admit that it is love that my soul craves. For a time, I can lock that desire away, but it haunts me. I still wrestle between wanting to know more about a God who claims to be All-Loving, and cursing Him for what I found in your places of worship.

If the people I have met there are His representatives, I want no part of Him. I am not naïve enough to believe that Christians are above being human, but your God inhabits your hearts, shouldn’t that be obvious?

It is likely that I visit one of your churches again someday. I have shared my experiences for your consideration, not so that you can offer an explanation, but because I wonder if you are even aware that your church has been presented in such a manner. I am looking to you for an example of your God, because I don’t know where else to look. If my search continues to turn up the same results, then I can only assume that your claims of God are false and I will look no further. I am prepared to accept that my questions have no answers, and that my search has been a failure… but I am still haunted by the thought that there must be something more to life than this. Will I find it at your church?

*based on journal excerpts of Annie Fintan, Refuge Ministries, while she was still a Pagan.

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And there's much more where that came from http://www.christiangoth.com/

I have all but the 'Letter From A Pagan' printed onto one piece of A4 paper... back front even a space at the bottom where i have the purinty acrostic printed "upside down" coz there was a patch extra space! You wanna do the same? (It's handy..........."-)

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SCANNED ARTICLE:
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PHOTO COMMENTARY

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If i could do real-to-life pencil sketches, this is one i'd do to perfection, of course. For effect i'd be messing with the colour, tone, hue, shading, tint and saturation. That and what a moment to capture in this picture.

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That's That's pitiful... X-(

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Every day i live in jealousy of people without wringlets, i can't do that hair

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beautiful

you pair of bloody tragedies! Posers, fakers, Sid and Nancy? Bloody addicts... prooves that Hollywood got nothing to offer.

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Cool... too perfect, too pretty, too dressed up. Looks more like modelling gear than everyday-wear or even stage-wear

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now this i'd wear everyday, well, not really but you know what i mean

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Bert McCraken for once doesn't look like a stingy hairy Alcoholic, someone has so messed with the picture in Photoshop (or something better! Photoshop?!). Hello Kraken!

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Evil is cool, evil is the shit, there's no two ways about it, there's no denying who Ozzy Osbourne is, even if half his followers in the younger and older crowd do it out of Metal loyalty and fashion rather than love for his music alone.

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Oh go kill yourself already.....

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...wtf....

and take him with you

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Good news:
Part of the course is saveable.
If the hours are killing me and i'm loosing interest, at least my two favourite subjects in the course can be done on their own from now on, i won't get a pass on Cert3 Multimedia, but i will pass on the Animation section, which i THINK can lead onto cert4 Animation... or not.

Either way, i won't be wasting parents money that they spent on the course and that means a lot, a WHOLE lot. Wealth is so taken for granted these days in such a rich western world, fussing is half seen as materialistic. Seen it in selfish disrespectful teenagers, not all teens, for sure in my teens for while. It's their wealth and prosperity, they share it and depart with it, for me. They work hard for that, not as a means to an end, work is a mean's to an end, money, it's that end they're giving up for me. Why? So i've a means to whatever end i choose, so long as it leads ME to prosperity. See what i'm saying about the course and good news? I am relieved, that works out well enough for me and them, plus no killer hours so i've plenty room for working once i get a job at Carousel, i repeat, plus no killer hours so i've plenty room for working once i get a job at Carousel. So there's no telling Centrelink anything! What an escape...
Trust me that i'm telling (a sarcastic & figurative half-) truth, i could almost feel wet beads of blood sweating down my face.

Blogging never got so tiring. That and i just started which as as curious as it is annoying.

Sick of issues! Sick of stickiness! Stop stickin' to me! ... .... .......... I just thoughta sumthin, Michael Jackson and Janet jackson duet - Scream, was at Lily's place yesterday and she got that song on, it's totally my song now.
Found an interesting way to explore the meaning of bible passages, by rewriting them replacing words with things that better help me understand it, so i can read it with my definitions slotted in. Is also an interesting way to see if i'm catching on to what's really written there, if it sounds totally different i might be a bit off, or i might be further onto it.

http://www.biblegateway.com/ <-- Is so handy going there.

Love The Message version of the bible. I'd prefer one looks at Jewish culture back then and the context the writers put it in and the Aramaic Greek & Hebrew language from the original bible scrolls, online MSG bible will have to do for now.

Side note: Is the weather overcoming anybody else? It's so bad that energy is drained and the air con's on but i'm sluggish from a whole day of heat.

Body's probably lazy

ROFLMAO

A scene in the Outtakes of Serenity says it beautifully:

+*
(Nathan facing burnt-out ship shoots a survivor

-gun blast-

(Nathan sheepishly turns around)
"My cartridge just fell out of my gun"
*+

How to i put it... AHHHhahahahahahahaha! Yes Kerina, i AM well aware that you have issues, but writing at 6am? I could honestly have a giggle fit if i were any more tired (got up 11am it's now 11:30am). Anyway, as well as coming to the conclusion that there are 16 of me in my head, i have decided don't write at 6am.

Anyway, this morning doesn't even begin to be described by 'absolutely pitiful cry-session' so i started what i'm doing and done what I've done, only thing now is 'what now' and what a cry-fest this morning, almost entertaining (me that is, not the blog).

I take comfort that chapter 52 of Isaiah may well come true for me some day:

God Is Leading You Out of Here
1-2 Wake up, wake up! Pull on your boots, Zion! Dress up in your Sunday best, Jerusalem, holy city! Those who want no part of God have been culled out. They won't be coming along. Brush off the dust and get to your feet, captive Jerusalem!
Throw off your chains, captive daughter of Zion!
3 God says, "You were sold for nothing. You're being bought back for nothing."
4-6 Again, the Master, God, says, "Early on, my people went to Egypt and lived, strangers in the land. At the other end, Assyria oppressed them. And now, what have I here?" God's Decree. "My people are hauled off again for no reason at all. Tyrants on the warpath, whooping it up, and day after day, incessantly, my reputation blackened. Now it's time that my people know who I am, what I'm made of—yes, that I have something to say. Here I am!"
7-10 How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the messenger bringing good news, Breaking the news that all's well, proclaiming good times, announcing salvation, telling Zion, "Your God reigns!"Voices! Listen! Your scouts are shouting, thunderclap shouts, shouting in joyful unison. They see with their own eyes God coming back to Zion.Break into song! Boom it out, ruins of Jerusalem: "God has comforted his people! He's redeemed Jerusalem!" God has rolled up his sleeves. All the nations can see his holy, muscled arm.Everyone, from one end of the earth to the other, sees him at work, doing his salvation work.
11-12 Out of here! Out of here! Leave this place! Don't look back. Don't contaminate yourselves with plunder. Just leave, but leave clean. Purify yourselves in the process of worship, carrying the holy vessels of God. But you don't have to be in a hurry. You're not running from anybody! God is leading you out of here, and the God of Israel is also your rear guard.

It Was Our Pains He Carried
13-15 "Just watch my servant blossom! Exalted, tall, head and shoulders above the crowd!But he didn't begin that way. At first everyone was appalled. He didn't even look human — a ruined face, disfigured past recognition. Nations all over the world will be in awe, taken aback, kings shocked into silence when they see him. For what was unheard of they'll see with their own eyes, what was unthinkable they'll have right before them."


I also like the following one, Isaiah 53, it's not about Jesus, but if there were ever a good description of him, here's a character-type that fits the bill. Keeping in mind, Jesus aim to not come looking like a king but simply to serve God, i imagine this is what people who'd attended the Crucifixion who turned to Jesus afterwards were thinking somewhere along these lines. I know that i thought little of God 'til he sorted me out, so i relate to this almost as a train of thought when i think of Christ:


1 Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this? 2-6 The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried — our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him — our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through his bruises we get healed. We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost. We've all done our own thing, gone our own way. And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him.
7-9 He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word. Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence. Justice miscarried, and he was led off — and did anyone really know what was happening? He died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of my people. They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man, Even though he'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true.
10 Still, it's what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he'd see life come from it—life, life, and more life. And God's plan will deeply prosper through him.
11-12 Out of that terrible travail of soul, he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it. Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many "righteous ones," as he himself carries the burden of their sins. Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly — the best of everything, the highest honors—Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch, because he embraced the company of the lowest. He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many, he took up the cause of all the black sheep.


I could almost have a fit about that being buried with a rich man comment, oh how mean! (giggle)

AH!
"I'm late, i'm late, for a very important date!" - The Late Bunny

ONE more thing--> one more \/

Chapter 51 of Isaiah caught my eye:

What Are You Afraid of—or Who?

12-16"I, I'm the One comforting you. What are you afraid of—or who? Some man or woman who'll soon be dead? Some poor wretch destined for dust? You've forgotten me, God, who made you, who unfurled the skies, who founded the earth.And here you are, quaking like an aspen before the tantrums of a tyrant who thinks he can kick down the world. But what will come of the tantrums? The victims will be released before you know it.They're not going to die. They're not even going to go hungry. For I am God, your very own God, who stirs up the sea and whips up the waves, named God-of-the-Angel-Armies. I teach you how to talk, word by word, and personally watch over you, Even while I'm unfurling the skies, setting earth on solid foundations, and greeting Zion: 'Welcome, my people!'"

17-20 So wake up! Rub the sleep from your eyes! Up on your feet, Jerusalem! You've drunk the cup God handed you, the strong drink of his anger. You drank it down to the last drop, staggered and collapsed, dead-drunk. And nobody to help you home, no one among your friends or children to take you by the hand and put you in bed. You've been hit with a double dose of trouble — does anyone care? Assault and battery, hunger and death — will anyone comfort? Your sons and daughters have passed out, strewn in the streets like stunned rabbits, Sleeping off the strong drink of God's anger, the rage of your God.

21-23Therefore listen, please, you with your splitting headaches, You who are nursing the hangovers that didn't come from drinking wine. Your Master, your God, has something to say, your God has taken up his people's case:"Look, I've taken back the drink that sent you reeling. No more drinking from that jug of my anger! I've passed it over to your abusers to drink, those who ordered you, 'Down on the ground so we can walk all over you!' And you had to do it. Flat on the ground, you were the dirt under their feet."

++++++++++Okay i've had hardtimes ini the past, and then i've added to it by acting dumb (taking up the cup...) and of course there are consequences (...of God's anger) but i'm dealing with a father here, not the devil, so i'm trusting it's as physics describes: in Newton's Laws of Physics "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction". Am i right or just piling up assumptions?++++++++++

I've been doing a lot of "thinking", although a lot of stupidity and clever management of that is more accurate. It started with doing Certificate 3 in Multimedia, art and computing, my two major interests, so the course should be riveting, yes? So dollars later and 3 months in i face the "reality"
...
No?!?!?!?!

Just not normal. So i do the impossibly dumb and decide that along with my waning interest the full time hours are killing' me and i don't wanna complete the 6 months only for it not to lead to a job. Pawwww baby...

To save my own arse i won't mention how much money i wasted through quitting. So, i should be pretty scared to write it in my blog, yes? Well you're not paying attention, you see, I'm a very silly person, that and there's more to it, it's not like that makes writing in my blog is any safer but you're dealing with me now. I fully embrace the mentality of being thorough, and if I'm gonna be stupid, I'm making a field day of it.

I think I'll take the time to mention that I've had my share of humble pie and decided no job is below me, rather, they're all far above me. Soon every shop in Carousel will know me by face, name and Resume, that or I'll get factory work, I'll even take a pub job. Keeping in mind of course, got no licence, got no car, i live right near the train line and i got only a year 12 graduation. This is going to be fun, yes fun, because I'm going to smile and be very happy - or let Centrelink/Intework find me a job... which means I'm definitely having fun.

:-D See, i even managed an Internet smile. How sweet.

Ah yes, that quitting thing. Well i had my cry fest "God, why have you abandoned me" "i can't do it anymore" Sunday night/Monday morning, that is, a few hours ago Mother finished talking to me, BTW mum=mum Mother=god. About that quitting thing, not only are two major interests so uninteresting for some reason i would find myself waiting for class to finish and so distracted from the 'boring' in-class tasks. Not only were the hours deadly for someone who's never worked, and done NOTHING for two years (you call that rest? i call that working up a good muscle-atrophy!). Not only do i have stubborn-mule issues and lost-kitten issues and a million other issues, GOD had no part in this. I'm so Christian that i didn't consult with Mother on this decision, and - well you'll get it if you read the whole blog. I'm a mess with even less energy and purpose than before, and two very upset angry parents.

If you have any cheesy sayings that you could offer to me to encourage me and make me happy, can it! I want only misery and pain... but not the kind you're thinking of. Mother reminded me of things i told her that i was forgetting/ignoring. My new years resolution: Break all the rules, obey all the laws. That is, forge a new way of doing things obeying the spiritual laws god put in place, and breaking any rules that got in my way, like a sort of learning kerb. Only thing is: my version seems to have excluded the whole learning thing so far. Then there's Planet Shakers last year, i quit being Anorexic, i quit with cutting, and God put several things on my heart.

To cut a long story short since I'm so stubbornly (is that a good thing... (?)) sure, I'll put things in lists to make it clear.

What God Put On My Heart:
Make the time to sort my problems out:
+Counselling
+ Careforce program Woman To Woman
+Psychology
+Telling other people
Take the time to learn more about god
+Bible college
+in church christian education
+internship at a camp or planet shakers

What i did:
+to do Careforce Woman2Woman i had to do Careforce Lifekeys first so i did
+then i did Careforce Search4Intimacy
+i told people, 2 no i used to cut, a grand total of 2. 1 person knows i used to be anorexic, a grand total of 1. That makes a super total of THREE.

What i didn't do:
Option 1:Sit down have a one on one with God so he could give me a clear yes or no
Option 2: get a patient well-versed faithful obedient sharp eared leader to ask for me

My GOD I'm bright, not only did i set myself up to fail, which God can help me overcome, I've missed a week, which is a recipe for more failure, I've HAD IT! I've told my parents I'm not doing it no more, and frankly, I'm sticking with that, with the way things are going and the fact that dad and TAFE have talked things over, it's too late now. The cleverest thing for image-sake in case my stupid arse wants a second shot at this course is to pull out now. Why? "Not worth the hard hours if I'm not interested in it as a career path any more, gonna just look for work and see what i wanna do mid-year" That's the cleverest thing i can do now. I can now thank myself for backing myself up into a tight spot i didn't want to go in. I could attempty catch-up like the last in the TAFE course when i missed classes... or NOT. Can you tell i dropped out then to?

Add to that my dad nearly died in a cyclone a fornight before i quit.

I just KNOW somebody out there wants to slap me like a three-headed monkey. Don't worry, so do i, only i decided to tell Mother and let her do it, Mother hasn't slapped me yet so i'm guessing she's just taking her time. If you're wondering why this whole thing has a funny-vibe, until i suddenly become perfect i'm needing to cope with me for a bit (unless someone else wants to do it for me), so i'm trying to live with myself.

Should i bother-internet screaming or just go to bed in angst and self-pity listening to music because i'm too emotional to sleep. The latter sounds so... so much more... realistic.

Yes, another test post.

This time with two movie reccomendations, Rocky Balboa (the sixth Rocky movie is it?) and Rize, something shown recently in a movie double by Luna Cinemas, both exceed expectations, both are EXCELLENT!

Site recommendations:
www.gothic-christianity.com
www.christiangoth.com

Blogger: Forgot your password?

Blogging has never been more of a nightmare...
It took a few horus just to get to this page, so my second post is a test post. :-D

UNTITLED, UNKNOWN

now this has been changed from English to French using ONLINE TRANSLATOR'S, that is to say, MACHINE'S not human's, so i'm not sorry if it's wrong, because i'm not wrong, the computer is :-D okay? BTW Just in case someone steals this it is NOT the English Original so THERE! The translation into English, i won't bother unless i get endless whinging about it, and it STILL won't be the originial, nah-nee-nah-nee-nahhh-nahh!

___________Intitulé Non, Inconnu

Pour faire fort,
pour faire faible,
comme la vie nous affecte tous les jours,
tel est la vie que chacun d'entre nous y réagit,
et nous tous promenade un sentier de division,
et ainsi, en avant nous allons.
{promener}

Pour faire fort,
pour faire faible,
comme la vie nous affecte tous les jours,
tel est la vie que chacun d'entre nous y réagit,
et nous tous promenade un sentier de division,
mais nous étions toujours joli.
{revenir}

Pour faire fort,
pour faire faible,
comme la vie nous affecte tous les jours,
tel est la vie que chacun d'entre nous y réagit,
et nous tous promenade un sentier de division,
comme les fourmis, nous tombons.
{Sommeil}

© 2007-03-09 Kerina S. Cook

No i don't know French, i used the three Translator's on http://wizardtrans.free.fr/online-language-translator.htm to comparitively fine tune this thing! ;-) And no, i don't wanna know if you hate it.

N.B. WELCOME to my new blog! The other one sucks so i'm not ever gonna mention it's site.